Whether you’re a long time lone wolf, recently split, or wallowing in the friend zone, Valentine’s Day is more like Singles Awareness Day – a little salt in the wound of unwanted solitude and the #1 day for couples (intentionally or not) to rub your noes in it. But just because you don’t have your one-true-love this February 14th doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. Mark the date with a big, black, X and get ready to send out invitations to all your single friends (plus none!) for a fabulous Anti-Valentine’s Day Party.
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Forget flowers, chocolates, and little heart shaped boxes. In fact, in protest of this supremely commercial holiday and everything it stands for, it’s time to do something a little different. Instead of red and pink, decorate with Black Roses, dark colored Crepe Streamers, and maybe a nice heart shaped or other Romantic Cutesy Pinata if you have room for your guests to take a swing. Buy some traditional Valentine’s Day decorations – hearts, cupids, banners – and deface them as you please!
Singles Awareness Day Rule Number One: Whether You Hit The High Notes Or Not, What Happens While Gloria Gaynor Is Playing Stays In This Room
Every good party has a sound track, and this is your perfect opportunity to riff on the classic romantic mix tape. Forget “In Your Eyes”, fill your ipod with “Love Stinks” “You Oughta Know” and the karaoke classic “I Will Survive” and blast breakup music and anti-love ballads all night long on a Speaker Dock. Dance, rock out, sing along – just try not to cry, it might make the other guests uncomfortable!
Broken Heart Cakes Are Delightfully Bittersweet
When it comes to edibles, you could snack on the traditional Chocolate Covered Strawberries, or even splurge for a Chocolate Fountain, but a true Anti-Valentine’s Day party spread is all about the parody. Instead of cutesy heart shaped cakes and cupcakes, opt for a black devil’s food cake broken heart. You use the same Heart Shaped Cake Pan, but opt for black (rather than red or pink) frosting and icing, and give it a nice jagged split down the center. Make one big cake in several big pieces or individual ones – you can even let your guests decorate their own broken hearts!
Bitter Hearts
I also love these cookies – a twist on the traditional candy message hearts that replaces chalky pastel candies with scrumptious sugar cookies, and the simplified romantic messages with, well, something a little less lovey dovey. If you don’t happen to have heart-shaped cookie cutters, but do have a Gingerbread Man Cutter left over from Christmas, give your guests several small tubes of colored icing and let them recreate their exes in cookie form – no holds barred – for a treat that will taste extra sweet.
Singles Awareness Day Rule Number Two: No Pink Drinks
Of course, no Single’s Awareness Day party would be complete without a way to drown your sorrows. Guiness is a popular choice – likely because its approximately the exact opposite of the traditional light and bubbly champagne. Bloody Marys make a nice tongue-in-cheek cocktail, but most mixed drinks – even ones designed for this broken heart holiday – are pretty fruity and often pink. Instead, if you need to forget your sorrows, line up some Shot Glasses and start pouring. Then again, there is one drink reserved for that special Valetine’s villain (or victim!) – the Adios Mother F-er, served in a Pint Glass, will punish the wicked and wipe away the sorrows of the bereft – limit one per customer (seriously!), it’s the best way to say “adios!”
This Is Exactly The Right Response To My Bloody Valentine
Finally, Singles Awareness Day is the perfect time to treat yourself to a completely un-romantic movie. Pop up a bag of popcorn (or, if you’re feeling fancy, get some gourmet kernels and pop them yourself), plop down on the sofa, and hit play. If you’re in need of a laugh (and maybe a little gore) I’d opt for Shaun of the Dead. For a nice holiday-appropriate hack and slash, try on My Bloody Valentine. To feel a little better about your break up, Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction are classics – and if you want to feel better about yourself in general, give Lars and the Real Girl a view.
Whether you’ve been single a long time, are recently broken up, or just don’t particularly like Valentine’s Day, there are plenty of ways to spend the dreaded 14th having fun that don’t involve flowers, candy, cards, or expensive dinner reservations. What’s your favorite way to celebrate singles awareness day?
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